What Do You Need Right Now?

I have a client who recently said to me, “Karen, I was in a funk over the weekend” I just couldn’t get motivated to do anything.

Most of us have experienced a “funk” at one time or another in our lives. We all know that feeling of just feeling “off” or not ourselves for some reason. Sometimes we know why and sometimes we don’t. I knew exactly what my client was talking about because I had experienced something similar that very week.

My husband’s son was visiting us for two weeks this past summer. My husband, Dan, took two weeks off with his son while I had to work. Now the World Cup happened to be going on that very same time and Dan and Danny love soccer. So, every day I got home from work I had two faces looking at me from the couch. Now, you have to understand, our house is usually very quiet. We don’t have other children and the TV isn’t on much after work. That is my time to come home, chill out and just relax before my clients call for my Coaching Business. Coming home from work for 2 weeks to two people in my living room with the TV blaring was starting to unnerve me. Without either one of them saying a word to me I could feel myself starting to get irritated and get into a “funk”. They weren’t doing a thing wrong but I was angry before I walked in the door.

When clients tell me this, I tell them to ask themselves, “What is it that you need right now?” This is my absolute favorite question because it works like a charm. So, when I asked myself that question I realized that I needed a night to come home to a quiet house where I didn’t have to lock myself in the bathroom to get it. I needed to just sit in my living room with peace and quiet for at least a half an hour. Once I realized this I explained it to my husband and he honored my request. He understood that all this stimulus was too much for me as soon as I walked in the door from work. There are 2 other TV’s in the house and they moved to the basement (which was cooler anyway) and gave me some time to myself.

When I gave this assignment to my client she called me at our next meeting all excited. She said she was in a funk and heard my voice in her head asking her what she needed right then. She listened to her needs and came to the realization that she needed some quality adult time with her best girlfriend. Being a single mother she was sorely lacking some adult companionship and quickly got on the phone with her friend and made plans to meet. She said the transformation in her attitude was incredible. She felt peaceful and fulfilled. In the past, my client would have taken a walk or told herself to get a grip in order to get out of her irritable mood. She said it may have worked for a few minutes but eventually the frustration would come rushing back.

When you are in a funk, feeling off or just not yourself, it is your body’s way of telling you that you need something right now. So the next time you feel this way, ask yourself, “what do you need right now?”